I can’t be the only writer who sees the creative
possibilities of the Trump habitation of the White House. The entire situation
is set up perfectly for a sit-com, with an arrogant, blustering, slightly
out-of-it father as president, a gorgeous but completely unaware 3rd
trophy wife, a bevy of ex-wives constantly stopping in on the White House
making demands, three bumbling adult kids doing all they can to profit off
their father’s fame and position, a self-serving son-in-law, and a little boy,
the latest child and pampered offspring of the president, who is so privileged
he cannot even begin to fathom the importance of his father’s decision on the
people of the country. The mix is rich in comic possibilities.
I can see it providing week after week of comic situations
as the outside world gradually spirals down into an abyss of chaos and
destruction (mentioned as side info in ordinary conversation). Kind of a dark
comedy. Here’s just a sampling of the possible episodes:
Episode 1
Trump has trouble finding his way through the White House.
His wife can’t find her way either and limits herself to two adjacent rooms.
Trump’s adult kids have to talk him through, room-by-room, to get him from one
meeting to another. Trump mishears the instructions and finds himself in closet
after closet. Merriment ensues.
Episode 2
Melania tries to settle into her role as 1st
Lady. However, she keeps gets phone calls, emails and texts from old boyfriends
blackmailing her with sex tapes & porn videos. She sells White House
decorations to buy them off. Trump comes into rooms, wondering what happened to
that portrait of Lincoln that used to be on the wall, etc. Son-in-law keeps
shoving executive orders that profit only him in front of Trump to sign.
Episode 3
The three adult Trump kids tear through the White House,
looking through closets, desks and cupboards looking for objects that can be
sold for profit. The oldest boy is constantly on his phone, doing deals with
foreign leaders and corporate heads that profit himself. He is constantly
interrupted by his father’s calls for help finding his way around the White
House. In between conversations between the adult kids and hunting for saleable
items, the daughter takes continuous calls from her children’s nanny.
Episode 4
The Trump ex-wives descend on the White House, demanding
access to state events and access to perks of the executive office. They make
themselves at home in the White House, to Trump’s consternation and the visible
fury of Melania, whom the ex-wives treat with complete contempt. Trump’s adult
kids try to help him get the ex-wives out but are put in their place by the
matrons. The lesser-known adult child of one of his exes makes an appearance,
but Trump has no idea who she is.
Episode 5
Trump’s young son tries to get comfortable with life in the White
House. The Secret Service agents become his closest friends. He bumbles into
important meetings, where his father asks him for his help and advice on
crucial world issues. The child occasionally finds his father wandering around
and has to lead him back to the private quarters of the White House. The boy
takes a few calls from world leaders while waiting for his father to find his
way to the Oval Office.
These are just the bare bones of the most obvious story
lines. Surely, you yourself could think of story lines that would make
plausible episode in the sit-com that is Trump Goes to the White House.
Maybe someone with artistic talent can set up a graphic
novel on the subject, with weekly installments based ongoing, real life events.
I’m sure we will all be needing the comic relief as long as Trump holds the
White House.