On Tiger

This was one that got under my skin, for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married for a long time, and have invested a great deal of time and attention to this relationship. Maybe it’s because my little grandson admired Tiger Woods since he was old enough to watch TV and hold a golf club at the miniature golf course. But I found myself deeply disappointed in Tiger’s behavior. Also, disappointed in having been duped by his PR people into thinking Tiger was all things good and hard-working and focused and disciplined—when the very opposite was the case.

The uproar about Tiger is now reaching almost operatic proportions. Internet games are turning up, in which Elin Woods chases Tiger in his car. Youtube has enactments of the Tiger Woods family drama. And I expect soon someone will put the whole thing to music, in a kind of rock-opera form, with maybe a few hip-hop elements.

Mostly, I’m upset at Tiger—and at all cheating men, really—because of what they bring home. And I’m talking about STD’s, though that’s a possibility that can’t be overlooked, as well. What they bring home is utter disruption. They bring home suspicion—and distrust—and a complete lack of faith in the marriage/family institution. They bring home destruction and despair, and for that, they can’t be forgiven. These breaches leave wounds that children in that home will carry with them for the rest of their lives, regardless of whether the marriage is patched or not. Regardless of whether the children are consciously aware of what has occurred. That’s how large the transgression is—that’s how huge the repercussions.

I hope men remember that when they carry on in very adolescent ways outside of their marriage vows. It’s not just about YOU anymore. It’s not even just about your wife. It’s about the concepts and feelings you bring home for your children to experience and carry with them all their lives. They have no choice in this.
Nothing ever happens in a vacuum. Not if there are children nearby to bear the cost.