More Than This - A Study of the Now

I bought the Roxy Music/Bryan Ferry cd to replace an old cassette. This tells you something about the music contained therein—how it fits into my life even after twenty years from its initial release—and how much meaning I find in the music. On the cd is a song written by Bryan Ferry titled, More Than This, and this song might be familiar to everyone as the one featured in the Sophia Coppola film, Lost in Translation, with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson.

In the movie, Bill Murray, in a rather halting, broken-voiced, yet thoroughly charming manner sings the words:

I could feel at the time
there was no way of knowing
fallen leaves in the night
who can say where they’re blowing
as free as the wind
and hopefully learning
why the sea on the tide
has no way of turning

More then this--you know, there’s nothing
more than this-- tell me one thing
more than this--there’s nothing


Meanwhile, in the background the soft, synthesized melody punctuates the loneliness-induced attraction between Murray and Johansson.

More than this—there is nothing.

The very vagueness of the song leads one into a revery. It has a very smooth, easy melody. It speaks specifically of nothing, yet implies a great deal. Something is happening—but there are no words to really express the feeling. Just a vague description of the moment.

If ever a song can make you smile to yourself about some random moment of absolute existence it is this one. And the song makes you remember again the feeling of lightness, wholeness, and absoluteness of the experience.

Maslow, the psychologist, calls these random moments ‘peak experiences.’ And that is the name most of us know the experience by—moments with their own intrinsic value, disoriented in time and space, accompanied by a loss of fear, anxiety, doubts, and inhibitions. And moreover, it is said these moments are timeless, spaceless, and are even characterized by a sense of unity, in which the subject and object become one.

It almost sounds religious—and in fact, some refer to it as mystical experience. But it is more than that. It is self-affirming and self-justifying. It’s a moment says very clearly, “I am here”—rather like the ‘you are here’ signs at the mall—and all the preconceived self-definitions, all the experiences that have colluded and conspired to make you ‘you’ seem to be of little significance. ‘You’ are this moment. ‘You’ are a being that feels this moment, that feels this whole and this good. “You’ feel yourself at an essential level, without all the labeling, both self-imposed and external, and without even the crutch of time.

You are here.

I had this experience recently, driving down the road to Fort Myers Beach on a warm spring evening, with the sun setting over the beach to my right. More Than This was playing on the radio. The man I most truly love, and have loved for years, rode beside me. As I drove along, no thought troubled my mind. No old business plagued my happiness. No worries for the future clouded my enjoyment. It was just that moment, riding in the car, with the sun pouring light on me, and the music playing gently. Nothing else had to be said about it. Nothing else could be described about it. Just me and the synthesized beat of the song rocking my brain like a lullaby, and the time and place that seemed like perfection. The moment passed, and my life resumed as normal, but the moment changed my outlook in a subtle way.

More than this—there is nothing.

Moments like these are an invitation to unload old self-definitions. Whether we call ourselves wives, mothers, fathers, professionals, students, workers, betrayed, abused, abandoned, actualized--these are invitations to look over that list of self-defintion and choose the ones we want. Perhaps we want none of them, and we choose to start with a clean slate—a tabula rasa of who we are. That’s the beauty of being human, that ease of shedding skin to be whatever we choose to be.

The Obama Inauguration - America's Quantum Leap

Hard to describe how I feel about the first black president being inaugurated. I’m not black, so I can only vaguely understand how Black Americans feel, but I'm happy for them. I hope they know how so many whites hoped and worked for this moment in history—not just the people who walked alongside them during civil rights marches—but those people who worked every day since then, in their personal and political lives, to make ‘equal opportunity for all’ not just a slogan bandied about for self-glorification, but a real living ideal, and real living condition of American reality.

I always saw something authentic and capable in the man. And when he won, I rejoiced, not only for the Democratic policies that he espoused, but because I had begun to lose faith in elections. I thought maybe the right wing media propaganda was too ubiquitous and strong. I thought maybe white Americans were too self-serving. But there it was—Change with a capital C.

The inauguration itself proved that Change to be a real thing. People wished each other well, people of all kinds. In a split second, we shed the despair and exclusion of the Bush years and began to believe again—in our power as citizens, in our ideals as Americans, in our future as hard-working innovators. It was an amazing thing to see and feel.

The nay-sayers are already out in force, and Rush Limbaugh has already called on his listeners to thwart the new president, even before Obama has taken office. We can’t let them win. We have to call out the lies and the half-truths that pepper right wing media propaganda. We have to refuse to be swayed by self-interest alone, because we already know for sure now—that way lies madness. And we have to knuckle down to the hard work of setting our country to rights, without too much grumbling, and without too much comparing at any given moment. We can do this, I know it. I know it because I saw the 2 million people gathered on the mall, every one of them representing a tiny bit of energy and intention that could help put us right. And each of them represented thousands more of that same dedicated, forward-looking momentum that can overcome just about anything. Like a rogue wave. I saw that, and I knew. This isn’t just a trend of enthusiasm—this isn’t just a fever of the moment—this is WHO WE ARE. Though we were buried so deeply in divisiveness, fear, and negativity.

God bless President Obama, and his elegant wife who will give up so much of the family’s personal time in order to help our nation. God bless those beautiful little daughters of his, who embody all that we hope for our children’s’ futures. And God bless all Americans, for the spirit they possess, for the ideals they hold dear, and for the work they have accomplished and will accomplish to make our nation even greater in the future.

The Florida Economy--It Really Is That Bad

I live in Florida, and not even a very heavily populated part of Florida. Now, the big cities of Florida--as few and far between as they might be--might be hanging on in this troubled economy--I doubt it, because Florida is sustained by wealth that often comes from other places, and the wealth of many has been diminished on many fronts, and by many causes. Here in my little town, we are suffering. And I want people to know it. Here in my little town, the mortgage crisis and glut of foreclosed homes has hit new construction badly. In fact, it has stalled construction of residential properties altogether. Those who worked in and around the construction industry have found themselves without a job. Unemployment in my burg is officially 9.8%--but probably more. One in ten families are on food stamps. Food banks are seeing types of people they have never seen before, and their inventory is getting dangerously low. Homes sit empty, and cities are having to scramble to find SOMEONE responsible for their upkeep while in that limbo state between foreclosure and resale. And cuts are being made in the state budget of Florida that affect teachers, administrative workers, and other government services. In a word, it's bad here--very bad--and likely to get worse. Instead of seeing an increase in people retiring to Florida's sunshine, the state is seeing a drop, as those in colder areas of the country give up their dream of retiring in the sun. That means a smaller tax base, and less money for schools and services that would, in fact, draw even more people to Florida. We are snowballing downward in this state, and I don't see any turnaround for some time.

Those who doubt the value of a 'stimulus' for our economy should try living here for a while. We are NOT sustained by any government spending at the moment, and that's why we are heading into a downward spiral. There is no big-city-money and investing at the moment, and the people that live here are tightening belts and trying to help other family members that have found themselves in the economic doldrums of our time. That means even LESS money to sustain remaining businesses here, because the money will be tied up helping others. See the pattern? We have to get out of it somehow--not only here but in communities all across the nation.

I like to think of the nation's economy in the same way I think of my own. If a time of great trouble occurs, we may have to extend our credit in order to get through it, knowing all the while that it will put off some other dreams we had for the future, or re-arranging priorities to accommodate those dreams. We will have to do that as a nation, too. We may not be able to do the foreign aid we would have liked to prop up other governments. We might not be able to flex our military might as we are used to. We might not be able to 'take offense' whenever some tin-horn nation rattles a sword or lets out a cry in a threatening tone. We may have to remember our OWN goals and our OWN needs first.

Reality sucks--and we are waist-deep in it lately. Let's not listen to those making promises we know can't come true. And let's listen hard for the voices of reality--and sanity.

Fox News Bimbos are now...hilarious!

Okay--I thought it was just good marketing on Fox News' part when they started putting abnormally Barbie-dollish looking women on to talk about politics, news, and economics--but it has grown to an extent that it is seriously looking ridiculous now. One doll-like woman is followed by another--or they are all put on a panel looking for all the world like beauty contestants parodying the news.



They are all very attractive....perfectly groomed and leggy...sometimes in slinky outfits...mostly blonde...and every last one of them is designed to gratify Fox's male audience. Fox appears to now be the news for men...about men...advancing men's interests...because this bevy of beauties sure does not represent average American women. It's like the Playboy Channel Attempts Serious News.



And you can say "Well, you don't want to see ugly people on cable news, do you?"

Maybe we do. Maybe we're just beautied out. Maybe we can't relate anymore. Maybe we want to see people who look more like people. Maybe they're just TOO perfect--TOO all alike--TOO much like Stepford Anchorwomen.



Fox News--take note--now people laugh when they catch a look at your news shows.



You are now totally ridiculous.

Global Warming Denial--They're at it again

I often have the misfortune of listening to right wing talk radio during the day. Don't ask why. No one forces me to listen to it. But I have to know what's going on, I have to know exactly how outrageous the comments. It's like a car wreck you can 't turn away from.

Today's little tidbit was about global warming--the usual 'it's a scam, it's not really happening' stuff. They will take any little photo or information about global warming and ridicule it to high heaven to make their point, without either knowing or understanding the science behind it. But then, these are the people who ridicule science on a regular basis, because it doesn't promote their ideology. Pitiful, really. Remember the Republican candidate all holding up their hand to indicate they didn't believe in evolution?? That was their death knell, and they didn't even know it.

But these right wing propaganda-merchants were ALSO the people who brought us 'Iraq is going fine, just fine', while the bodies kept coming home (and are STILL coming home to the tune of 4012 U.S. dead to date, with more bombs going off daily in cities in Iraq). And these are the same people who swore to us that 'the fundamentals of the economy are strong,' while the underpinings of our entire economic system crumbled beneath us. So really, what credibility do these talk show spinmasters and pointmen have left??

I was sitting across from a young friend over pizza one evening and the subject of global warming came up.

"Oh, I don't believe in it," he said with confidence.
"What part don't you believe in?" I asked.
"That there's anything in it--that's it's happening."
"Well, it's a matter of science. It's not a question of your 'belief.'"
"Oh, I know. I don't believe in it anyway."

It was if he thought it was unmanly to believe in the earth's power to defy our needs. It was as it he thought that somehow NOT believing in it would make it go away--so strong was his 'faith' in his human power over nature. So strong was his 'belief' that he could wish it away.

But it's NOT going away, and meanwhile, populations of not only animals but people are losing their habitats and food sources because of it. And I would like people to turn off the American Idol and Lost and read up on it a bit.

Because this isn't a matter of 'faith' and 'belief', it's a matter of survival.

Thanks for listening.

Follow The Money

I, like many Americans, find myself more and more irritated by the depth, breadth, and irrationality of the current economic mess. It now turns out the the 350 billion Hank Paulsen has given out cannot be accounted for--and the banks don't want any oversight at all on how the public's money has been spent--or how it was not spent. More and more, it looks like we have handed a blank check for the public treasury to an administration we cannot trust, and which doesn't have a record of competence.



Remember the day, Paulsen ran to congress--hair on fire--screaming the financial sky was falling. The more you think about that, the odder it becomes. Why then? Why did they only know at that time? Didn't they see it coming? What were they doing instead? Something of that fiscal magnitude had to have been seen bearing down on them like a huge black cloud on the horizon--why didn't anyone know about it? And why didn't anyone do anything?



We are being asked to believe that it was mortgages to those who 'couldn't afford it' that caused this huge worldwide problem. I'm not buying it. Many others aren't buying it either. And the very people encouraging us to take this view are the ones most likely to benefit from our ignorance on the subject.

It's clear we need an investigation of our current financial crisis--by people who know these things and who can understand the details of it. And with full power of subpoena to get at the information, as well. Then, we'll know what went wrong. We'll also go where to look for misuse of the current TARP funds. I'm betting on it.

This is one we can't just 'let go' and hope we can learn from it.

They Threw Shoes, Not Roses

Our illustrious president got a shoe thrown at him at an Iraq press conference today. Two shoes, to be precise. This, in a country we had allegedly 'liberated' from oppression. This, from an Iraqi journalist who should be only too happy for the events that bestowed the right to be a journalist in his country. Yet said journalist was not happy at all. He decried the lost of Iraqi life that this 'liberation' brought. He railed against the making of widows and orphans. And Bush, in his supreme arrogance, could do nothing but stand there looking be wildered ,with an expression of confusion that said, "But we were only trying to help you."

The incidence revealed the underlying sense that there was something very wrong about our going into Iraq. Something was very 'dishonest' about the reasons for going in, and very underhanded about our remaining there for so long. As Americans, this is something that Bush is leaving behind for us to deal with. A legacy of disaster, as it were.

While the Bush team is busily trying to 'spin' history (and you can't spin history, you can only spin contemporaneous public opinion), we find ourselves still neck-deep in the very expensive debacle called Iraq. It is not a good feeling. It is not even a hopeful feeling. We will have to undo so much bad opinion across the globe, and this will take time--the kind of time people are required to spend to rebuild trust.

There are still those who lockstep along with the standard Republican line that says invading Iraq somehow made us safer. These people are now mostly ignored. But just a few weeks ago, Presidential Candidate McCain was carefully explaining why we had to stay there. And VP Candidate Palin was, too. They were actually 'selling' staying in Iraq to us.

It now seems bizarre.